Week 29

After all this time I cannot believe that I am writing these words. I AM A MUMMY and HARRY IS A DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!

It is the most amazing and incredible feeling, all my dreams have come true and the pain and sadness I have felt, having waited for so long, has just melted away.

Patrick rang us shortly after my last diary entry to tell us about a sibling group of two, a girl aged two called Katy and a boy aged five named Ben. He sent us details and arranged to bring their social worker to see us the following week. We knew as soon as we read the information that these were our children. I am not fatalistic but have to say that this just seems so meant to be and so right. We felt warmth and a bond straight away and when we saw their photograph it just melted our hearts.

Patrick rang us a few days later to tell us the news, it was unbelievably wonderful to know we had found our forever children, but deep in our hearts even before Patrick rang we just felt we would be matched.

Today I looked back in my diary to a month ago and thought how strange it was that I had no idea a month from then I would be so happy. And I looked back at a year ago and thought how far we had come since then. It has been such a long hard road but suddenly the weight has lifted and our dream is within reach.

We are under no illusions about the next few months, they will bring a complete and utter lifestyle change, it will not be easy at times and I can pretty much guarantee it will be exhausting. Our son is going to find it hard to move onto a forever family, he is that bit older and knows that he already has a mummy that he loves and cares for. We only hope that we can help him as much as possible to merge his two worlds into one, holding onto and embracing his history and bringing that life with him into this next phase for him.

So many things to think about but for now I am just so happy to drink lots of champagne, buy lots of things for my future children and keep thinking to myself "I am a mummy" - YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Ellen x

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