Another two weeks and still no news. I have decided not to ring our Social Worker every other week now as it feels very much like that saying "a watched pot never boils". I am living my life from phone call to phone call and each time I ring I feel so deflated when nothing has moved forward. I've decided if I don't phone then I can at least start the day with some hope that things might change, I might get that much awaited call from Patrick.

To be honest I am feeling very fed up at the moment, I've tried to stay upbeat and positive but after so long it's hard.

I signed onto an adoption site to try and "meet" people who were in the same position and felt the same way, thought it would be nice to talk, have a moan and just generally keep each other company. Met some lovely people, two of them were like Harry and I, no children at all and going through "the wait".

Was so pleased to have some company. But then, within a few days, they had been matched, I was of course "over the moon" for them, truly I was, but I couldn't help but wonder why it seemed that everyone else was having good news and we had none at all. Felt guilty for feeling this way but I just couldn't help it, happy for others but just totally fed up for Harry and I. As you can tell I am feeling a bit sorry for myself!!!!!

I have been asked to review a book by a lady who was adopted, it's her story from childhood through to having her own family. I am really looking forward to reading it as I think it will be very enlightening and interesting.

Well, that's all for now, take care.

Ellen x

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