Week One

In November of last year our Social Worker Patrick came to the house to meet Harry and I and tell us about the adoption process.

We were so nervous, we barely slept the night before and were ready hours before he was due, the house was immaculate and smelt lovely; it felt so important to us to make a good impression.

Patrick arrived and he was so nice, he was warm and friendly and felt really easy to talk to, he was much more 'human and down to earth' than we had expected. Patrick talked us through the assessment process and its features including training, police checks, a medical and many 1-1 discussions (with our Social Worker once they were appointed).

We were asked a couple of questions but most of the appointment was spent explaining to us how the process worked. We were really keen to start as soon as possible and couldn't believe it when Patrick offered to book us on the training for the following week. Suddenly our life, which had felt as though it was on hold for so long, was moving forward. As well as feeling really exciting it also felt a bit scary so instead of saying we could attend the training straight away we said we would ring Patrick back to let him know. Patrick left and a quick chat later, we rang and confirmed we would like to attend.

The first training evening arrived and I spent ages trying to decide what to wear. I wanted to look smart yet casual, mature yet not old but most of all friendly. I needn't have worried, the Social Worker who was running the sessions and all our fellow team members were warm and welcoming and also just as nervous as we were.

The training was excellent, it focused around topics that were really interesting and useful such as the reasons why children come into care, how birth families feel giving children up for adoption and how children feel when they leave their foster carer to move onto their forever family. It gave Harry and I lots of really good ideas of ways to support our children too, such as creating a memory box for them to keep pictures or items from their birth family. Another idea was to create a book with lots of photos and the family trees to introduce ourselves and our family to our children. The training was very supportive and we were pleased to be given the opportunity to network with others like ourselves and discuss our hopes and fears in a safe environment.

When the training was finished we were told we had to wait until January to find out who our official Social Worker would be. It seemed to take forever for January to come (although only 1 month away), straight after new years day I rang the LA to find out if they any more news only to be told we were looking at a wait of a few months. Having started down the adoption path we were raring to move onto the next part of the process (the home assessment) and felt so disappointed. So, we thought about it and decided we had come this far so surely we could wait a few more months. We agreed to make it a useful and positive time and get all the jobs completed in the house (new bathroom, new en-suite, do the garden), research as much as possible about adoption and also about being a parent and make our family book.

At the end of April we were thrilled to receive a call to tell us that our home assessment was starting and that Patrick would be our Social Worker.

Our first appointment felt as nerve wracking as the initial visit, Patrick re-capped on the process and asked us about our thoughts about the ages and number of children we wanted to adopt.

We had agreed we wanted to apply for up to 3 siblings aged 0 - 5. Patrick seemed comfortable with this. He explained to us about the types of children who come into care and the fact is was rarer nowadays for babies to become available. When they do there are lots of couples who want to adopt a baby and therefore you are amongst a larger pool of people who could suitable. We had anticipated this and didn't feel a baby was a priority; one, two or three young little ones to love would make our dream come true.

Click here for page two of the diary

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