Week 16

So much has happened since I last wrote the diary entry that I really don't know quite where to begin!

As you know, we had been introduced to our son-to-be, Jamie, and were going through the introductions last time I wrote. Boy were they fun! The foster carers were as keen as we were to go at Jamie's speed, and so long as he was comfortable with doing things, then, with his social worker's blessing, we kind of did our own thing.

During the first week of introductions, we did all sorts. One day, he came to our home and saw his room for the first time - he was absolutely thrilled to bits with it. His favourite colour is green, and coincidentally (or was it fate?) we had decided upon green for the room, so when he walked in, his eyes lit up with delight.

He went in, jumped all over the bed, opened all the cupboards, played with all the toys, hid in the bed - when his foster carers came to pick him up, he couldn't wait to show them. It was great! Another day, we took him to the airport to see the planes - he loved that too, but couldn't wait to get back to our house again to play with the toys and see his room!!

After a week of introductions, we had a review meeting. By then everything was going incredibly well. At the end of each day it was getting harder and harder to say goodbye to him. We felt he was nearly ready to be placed, and didn't want to lose the momentum of the introductions and for him to start to feel that we were just fun people who took him to nice places and had a nice house where he could visit and play with toys!!

The foster carers were the same - they were so attached to him that it was getting more and more difficult for them the longer things went on - they just wanted to get things over and done with and also felt that he was more than ready to be placed.

The first thing the chair of the meeting said at the review meeting was "So, we're here today to review the introductions so far and to plan for the next few months". Next few months??!!
Surely we wouldn't be doing introductions that long?! I am sure that people must have heard the thud when my heart dropped on the floor!! Luckily, in my highly emotional state I had misunderstood.

It turned out that everyone was keen to plan for his placement as quickly as possible and thankfully, after an hour or so of discussions, it was agreed that he would be placed with us the following weekend. Phew! We were absolutely thrilled to bits!! The following few days we would proceed with the introduction plan, with a sleepover on the Friday and placement with us on the Sunday.

The following day, as part of the introductions, I went with Jamie and his foster mum to his last Mother and Toddlers group. Nothing could have prepared me for this morning!!
I have never ever been made to feel more welcome in a room full of strangers in my life!

Everyone knew about Jamie and the fact that I was going to be his new mummy, and they were all so friendly. There was another lady there who had adopted a little boy and a little girl who was great to talk to - there really is no substitute for speaking to someone who's "been there, done that"!.

She said that she had thought it would be all "skipping through cornfields with the wind in your hair and sun on your faces", but it wasn't like that so to be prepared! She did go on to say that it was the best thing she had done and the happiness of her children and the smiles on their faces reflected that too.

Anyway, things were going swimmingly - Jamie was playing and having so much fun. Then, about 45 minutes before the end of the session, all the toys were cleared away and the vicar from the church came in. I thought he was just coming in to perhaps chat to the children, but no!

He came out in to the middle of the room, and began a lovely little speech about Jamie and the fact it was his last day at nursery. Then he started talking about his foster mum who had done so much for him, and then about Tim and I who were going to be his new mummy and daddy.

Well, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I was blubbing away, so was foster mum. I looked around the room to see all the women there frantically searching in their bags and pockets for hankies with tears in their eyes! Luckily Jamie's attention was grabbed by the fact that the vicar had with him the most enormous box covered in wrapping paper and I'm sure he'd worked out that it was coming his way!

They then gave Jamie his present and gave both foster mum and I flowers, and the vicar gave us both a palm cross also. Both foster mum and I hugged together, and everyone in the room came over and hugged us both too. It was emotional!! Saying goodbye to everyone was difficult, particularly because I had been made feel so welcome and everyone was so lovely! Jamie took it in his stride, because he didn't really understand what was happening, but we have photos to show him so we can talk about it all to him.

Well, after one emotional day, we then had the sleepover. That was interesting! I think it was about midnight before he managed to get to sleep - he was tired out but still excited, and I think a little confused too! Mind you, once he did get to sleep - that was it, he was away! From memory I think it was around 6.30am when he wandered into our room with a huge smile on his face! Both Tim and I were shattered, but really happy with how things were going. Jamie then spent the rest of the day with his foster carers and their family saying goodbyes, so Tim and I had a last nice meal out and evening in, preparing for impending parenthood!!

The following day we collected him from his foster carers for the last time and bought him home. They had tears in their eyes, so did we - it was hard for them, but we really hoped they knew by now how much we loved him, and that we would not be strangers to them. Coming home with him that day was an amazing feeling - we all went to the park that afternoon in our local town and had a fabulous afternoon, running around, playing in the playground, riding on the little train. It was brilliant!

That night it was late again before he eventually got to sleep, and he had a few cries, but nothing we didn't expect. He cried once for his foster mum, but I spoke to him calmly and gently, and he was fine. One thing we've soon come to realise is that if we explain things to him, he takes it all on board!

Well, that was then - we've now had Jamie for a week, and it has been lovely. There have been tears and tantrums, but he is 3 after all! There's not been anything that we've been concerned about, and both his and our social worker have visited and are absolutely delighted with how things are proceeding.

That said, Tim goes back to work soon, so I will then be on my own with him. I'll let you know in the next diary entry how I get on! I'll say one thing though - this is the best thing we've ever done. We have a beautiful son and we're a mummy and daddy - we are a family at last!