Week 14 - Panel Day!

We did it!!! At last, at long long last, we're going to be a mummy and daddy!! Just how great is that?!

I cannot tell you how nerve-racking the day of the matching panel was. However much people tell you that its going to be fine, and they're sure it will be OK, until that phone rings and you get the go ahead, no-one can reassure you!

I sat at work all morning, absolutely petrified of leaving my desk. My boss was hovering around me determined not to miss out on the time when I got "the call", but she did miss out in the end!

We knew roughly what time the panel were going to be discussing our match, but we hadn't told anyone - in fact, we had said that it could be the evening before we knew, just so that everyone wouldn't be chasing us for news!

Luckily, when the phone went and it was Susan on the other end, I was in the office completely on my own. I could hardly believe it when she said that it had all been approved - after a brief conversation, I put the phone down and felt completely stunned.

I just felt like a rabbit caught in headlights - I didn't know which way to run first! In order to avoid anyone asking me for the hundredth time whether we'd heard anything, I grabbed my mobile and headed outside to call Tim at work.

The frustration of it all when I heard he wasn't at his desk and had popped out! I went and sat on a bench in the sunshine on my own - just me with the news going round my head that I was going to be a mummy. I just couldn't believe it - I was excited, nervous, thrilled and panic-stricken all in one lovely parcel with a bow on top!!

Anyway, after 30 minutes Tim rang me on the mobile - he said he couldn't stand the tension of it all and had to go out for a walk, but of course forgot to take his mobile with him! He was absolutely over the moon of course and we said how we still couldn't believe it had happened and was all going to go ahead!!

Next was my Mum - when she answered the phone, I started singing "There's no-one quite like Grandma" to her and she was just so excited. She admitted then to me that she'd been out and bought a colouring book and pencils for our little one earlier in the week and my Dad had gone mad at her for tempting fate!!

Over the years I've had all these fantasies about telling Mum she was going to be a Nan, but doing it for real was great!

I eventually got back into the office and told everyone the news - they were all so thrilled and there were hugs all round. I can't describe how much it meant to me how supportive everyone was - it was really very touching.

When I got home that evening, Tim and I hugged one another and still couldn't believe it! We were going to be a Mummy and Daddy! We decided to escape the phone before it started to ring off the hook, and went for a drive down to the supermarket to get something nice for our dinner that evening that would be quick to cook and easy to eat between phone calls!

It was good in a way, because we got chance to enjoy the news together before we spent the rest of the night on the phone passing the news to all our family and friends.

After boosting BT's profits, we sat down at 11.00 pm to write e-mails to all our other friends who we couldn't phone. I must admit, it was great to read their responses when they came back - we even had one the following day from my friend in Australia and my Mum and Dad's friends who were out in Martinique on holiday!!

Well, now we'd had the news we'd been waiting for, it was like being at the start of a race and someone saying "On your marks..... Get set....... GO!!".

We could not wait to hit the shops! We had the best fun ever that weekend - we spent a fortune but for once we could buy things that we'd never dared to get before we had the definite go ahead. We'd decided we wouldn't spoil him, but had come to the conclusion that if we bought things before he arrived, then that wouldn't be classed as spoiling! Well, that was our theory and we were sticking to it!!!

We're just going to scrape in and get the new benefits available with the change in the law, so I am well and truly a test case for the Adoption Policy at my place of work.

They've had a bit of a struggle with it, which hasn't helped because I know the new law back to front and inside out, but they're catching up! I now have two weeks before I leave work - quite incredible!

I think we're lucky in a way as the planning meeting is just under two weeks away due to the annual leave of our little one's social worker, so we've got time to arrange things at work and at home which is a luxury that many people don't have. Of course, if someone had said he's coming to you tomorrow, we would never have turned them down!!

So there we are, planning meeting in two weeks, and meeting him for the first time shortly after. Childless one day - parents to a three year old the next! This is going to be one interesting experience that's for sure!!