Today sees the launch of our new diary, tracking the adoption journey of Tim and Melanie.

To introduce the diary Melanie has written an introduction taking us to the point of approval.

From the beginning...

Tim and I have always wanted a family of our own - I think it was probably one of the first things we decided upon well before we'd even contemplated marriage. It was so important to us, that we were trying even before we got married six years ago. We laugh about that now, as at the time we were thinking how funny it would be if I were pregnant on our wedding day. Little did we know then how unlikely that would be!

After a year, I visited the doctor as we were concerned that we hadn't conceived a pregnancy. Her reply was to go away on holiday, relax and it'll probably happen just when we're least expecting it.

We did as the doctor ordered, but a further year down the line, things still hadn't happened. We were referred to our local hospital for investigation and then referred on to a private hospital for treatment.

I suppose because we were a little older, and because I was, by that time, in my late thirties, we felt that time was not on our side. Our consultant recommended IVF treatment straight away, even though our infertility was "unexplained". We decided right at the outset that we would never put ourselves in the situation where we would restrict our lives for the sake of paying for IVF, so three attempts was our absolute maximum.

We also discussed the possibilities of adoption, although at that stage obviously hoped that IVF would work for us. It was not to be, and although there was the obvious disappointment, when the third attempt failed, after a little breathing space, we started to get a little more excited about the prospect of adoption. With adoption, we would have a much better chance of having children in our lives.

We first met with our social worker, Susan, in June 2001. She came to our home, discussed the whole process in great detail, and asked for us to think about things seriously and call her back if we wished to proceed.

There was no doubt in our minds - so we called her back and told her that we did wish to go forward. We then waited until October when the next Adoption Preparation Course started. In the meantime, we tried to read everything we possibly could and our phone bill rocketed with all the time we spent on the internet looking for information!

Tim and I were a little apprehensive about the course, but shouldn't have been. What did surprise us was the fact that all the other people there were all at different stages of the process - we all thought they would be complete novices like we were!

The course was excellent - we learnt so much about adoption and the backgrounds that children could have come from. Some of it was very difficult - the stories we were told were harrowing and sometimes beyond belief. After every course session, we would talk for hours afterwards on what had been discussed and how we felt we would be able to cope.

Our home study started soon afterwards - this was the bit we weren't particularly looking forward to, mainly because of other people's experiences. How different it was. Our social worker, Susan, was extremely easy to talk to and discuss matters with. We found it really easy to be open with her and discuss all our life experiences with her.

We started to do work towards our application which we found really quite good fun to do, although sometimes putting your own thoughts into words wasn't particularly easy. Susan had recommended a bookshop in our local City to check out so I went down there and came out with an armful of books to read. Tim wasn't all that fussed about reading books on adoption, but I've always loved reading and just couldn't get enough. I'd be reading them in bed at night and nudging Tim awake to tell him things I was reading about - he loved that!

Christmas came and we looked at ourselves and thought could this be the last one with just the two of us? We had no idea at that point how long it would take to get to panel and then how long it would take to get matched, but it was strange trying to imagine how different our house could be in two, maybe three years time.

More home study meetings followed until Susan finally told us that our panel date had been fixed. She asked us if we wanted to know when it was - I shook my head and Tim nodded! Susan said that this meant she had the casting vote, and would not be telling us! I was quite pleased.

In the area we live in, we can't go to panel, so what good would it be for us to know? I know that I would only get really worked up about the whole thing and be a nervous wreck, but Tim was so calm and collected about it all! He'd say to me that if they didn't approve us that this would be their loss and we'd just have to cross that bridge when we came to it!

We knew we were close to panel when Susan dropped off the copy of our application form. I must admit I was close to tears when I read it. Here was our life together put down into words - things we had said about one another, details of our lives, our families and our friends. It was a strange experience to read something that someone else had written about us. Even though Susan had told us that our application was straight-forward, she was at pains to point out that the adoption panel never rubber-stamped applications, and could pinpoint the slightest thing and reject our application or postpone it for consideration until further work was done.

We'd got a rough idea that our panel date would be at the beginning of July, so you can imagine the scene when I was sat at work, one day in late June, when the phone rang. I picked it up and the person on the other end of the phone just said "Hello Melanie, this is Susan ....". I knew right away this was it! This was the moment when someone was going to tell me whether they had decided if Tim and I were going to become a mummy and daddy.

She just said "Just to let you know that the panel have approved your application". I couldn't believe it - the rest of the phone call passed in a blur - I cannot to this day remember the rest of it. I couldn't wait to ring Tim.

When he answered the phone, I just said "Hello Daddy..." There was this complete silence on the other end of the phone, then eventually he said "You're joking!!" That was it - we'd been approved! As soon as we got home from work that night, the phone was hot making calls to soon-to-be nans and granddads, and aunties and uncles.

Of course then that was it - the big wait started!!