The process of adoption is a long and sometimes painful journey. But the rewards at the end can make all the struggles and heartache of the seemingly endless wait worthwhile. Katharine Barney spoke to a couple who have been through the process and last week finally emerged as the new mum and dad to two children

To the casual observer they look like any other family. Seven-year-old Lucy sits, her arms wrapped tightly round her mum's neck. On the sofa next to her, ten-year-old Adrian and his dad debate the practicalities of taking a conker to school.

Outside the comfortable detached home in Keyworth, bikes and skipping ropes litter the garden and the shouts of playing children drift over the gate. Inside family photographs beam down from the mantelpiece.

The subtle difference is that none of the pictures show babies or pictures of toddlers taking their first steps.

The earliest photo Pam and her husband, Steve, have of their two cherished children is one taken by social services two years ago.
It was the couple's first sight of the two children who were eventually to become their son and daughter, the first step in a two-year journey to parenthood.

The process finally ended last week when the couple officially adopted Lucy and Adrian - though to all intents and purposes they had been a family for some time.
The date October 17, 2000 is a day etched on the memories of the whole family because it was the day Adrian and Lucy were allowed to start living with their new mum and dad. And from the minute she took Pam's and Steve's hands, Lucy started calling them mum and dad. Within a week, Adrian was doing the same.

"There's absolutely no doubting they're our children," said Pam.
"One night I heard Lucy talking to her dolls saying 'Hmm, that's clean enough, it'll do for tomorrow' which is exactly what I say to her."

Steve added: "And Adrian's exactly the same, if Pam's a bit stressed he'll walk around muttering 'Hormones'. There's no doubting where he picked that up from."

The love the children feel for their new-found parents is not just evident in their mannerisms. Steve opens a folder he has collected filled with cards the kids have made for them. Unashamedly, he brushes a tear from his eyes as he flicks through them. Each one is painstakingly hand-made.

One says: "I love you Mum and Dad, even when you ground me, even when you are in a mood and even when you shout at me."

The children compete with each other to see who can help the most around the house.
"My favourite job is cleaning the stairs," says Lucy. And they vie to do the washing up - maybe craving the praise that was missing for much of their early lives.

But to paint a picture of the perfect cereal packet family is misleading. There have been plenty of difficult times too. Pam remembers the first time they planned a family holiday.

"Adrian just wouldn't have any part of it. He wouldn't look at brochures or discuss it. We finally understood when he asked us where he was going to go. He couldn't comprehend that we were going to take them too.
"We sat him down and explained that we were a family now and we did things as a family."

Before being adopted, Adrian and Lucy had had limited experience of family life. The children were taken into foster care four years ago when social services decided their birth parents were unable to care for them.

Adrian briefly went back to live with his birth parents to give them a second chance but it failed and he returned to care - this time in a separate foster home from his sister. Meanwhile, Pam and Steve were debating their options.

It was Steve's second marriage and having previously had children, he had gone through a vasectomy - but was now considering a reversal.
However, not wanting to put Pam through any pregnancy worries at a relatively late age, their thoughts turned to adoption.

From making the initial call in May 1999 the process of being approved, being matched and adopting Adrian and Lucy has taken three- and- a-half years. But both Pam and Steve agree that it is the best thing they have ever done.
Pam said: "It's hard to imagine our life without them now. They just mean everything to us."

And Adrian and Lucy not only have parents who can love and care for them but they also can be together again. Like any brother and sister, they deny that is important - something which is hard to believe as they play together in the garden and roll around tickling each other in fits of laughter.

As they do so Pam gently hushes them and once again they look like any other family.

Could you give these brothers a chance?
Adrian and Lucy are typical of the older children that Nottinghamshire Adoption Services are trying to place. Another problem is finding new families for non-white children.

To find out more call Forever Families on 0845 301 2288