I felt moved to write to you as we, nineteen years ago, adopted a little girl with both physically and possible learning difficulties

She was 2 and half years old the first time we saw her, she was boss eyed (double squint), clothing far too big for her and a hair cut which left enormous ears sticking out, but her smile held us.

She had a background of both parents having physiological problems, but we felt we really wanted her. We weren't dreamers or people who just loved all kids no matter what, in fact we had said we would not be interested in any child with a history of parents having any mental problems, and here we were with the decision made that we would have her

We had been through all the months or rather years of being assessed for adoption and then waiting to hear if we were approved, and at last it seemed it was all worth it.

I didn't BOND to her for about a year really, it wasn't until she had to go into hospital for a corrective eye operation that the maternal instinct came to the fore. Not the natural mother-earth as you can see.

She was quite a demanding child and a temper on her, but underneath that all we saw was this little girl emerging who had a great sense of humour. A girl who we taught to walk properly, run, read, do jigsaws (which she always did picture side down which I could never do!), ride a bike which was the highlight of that year as doctors had said she wouldn't walk properly nor run never mind ride a bike with out stabilizers.

She didn't interact with other children as well as we had hoped, but the friends she did make we cultivated and they spent most weekends in our back garden playing in a pool or slide or just on the swing.

There were times I could have torn my hair out with frustration, other times she amazed us all with her sense of humour and total recall of things she remembered that we had long forgotten.

She found school difficult but always tried so very hard. As she approached leaving school she was fearful of the big outside world that confronted her, she spent eighteen months working for a solicitor and then said she wanted to leave as she was bored rigid and didn't feel it was for her. We asked her what was it she really wanted to do and she said work with horses -(horses and animals in general were always the love of her life) so we rang around and got her into an Equestrian Centre with college training and she has never looked back.

She moved around to different 'horsey' places, but now she runs an Equestrian Centre of over 40 horses, teaches riding, rode this summer in a 10 mile course at Badmington - and has a wealth of knowledge about horses.

She is a kind and sweet natured person but still with a determined stubbornness about her, she is 21years of age, has had a couple of men friends whom she fell for but neither worked out. She is taking her driving test next week and we love her to bits.

Our message is to all of you out there wondering whether a child is right for you because they have some physical or mental problems, if you have the strength and determination anything is possible, nearly six years after we first had our daughter we fostered another little girl of 6years old with a view to adopting. That was not anything like the first time round as she didn't have any physical problems or mental ones to our knowledge, her story we shall leave for another time, as that too was VERY challenging, although different.

From Elspeth (Adoption-net reader)