Pam Oakley is a small woman with a big heart. Starting a second family in her forties wasn't enough for Pam; she gave a home to three Downs syndrome children who brought her more happiness than she could have imagined.

Pam Oakley
Downs syndrome children are loving and demonstrative, but they have special needs. And the former nurse already had three teenage children and a baby son.

Yet despite a scare with the little girl, who had to undergo a five-hour heart operation when very young, Katy, Adam and Tom thrived. Pam adores them, and they think the world of her.

It doesn't take a visitor to their Madeley home very long to see how close they are. You can appreciate why she could never countenance fostering children: "I couldn't bear to give them back."

The trio are special, but their interests couldn't be more ordinary: Katy, 15, is into pop music and clothes and has just fallen in love for the first time; Tom, 14, enjoys a game of football and 11-year-old Adam is a mischievous prankster who likes watching TV and videos.

They seem the happiest of families, but as Pam said last week, a fear lurks in the back of the mind of every parent in her position: what if anything should happen to me?

It was worse in Pam's case, with not one, but three handicapped children and no partner to help - unable to cope, her husband walked out several years ago.

Since she received the awful news two years ago, the adoptive parents of other Downs syndrome children have told her that she has become the embodiment of their worst nightmare.

Which is partly why the small woman with the big heart has emerged as a doughty fighter for what she calls the 'silent carers.'

She readily admits that she never pictured herself as a campaigner. What she is good at is being a loving mother, lavishing all her attention on her two families, always putting them first and herself last.

But the unthinkable possibility of Katy, Adam and Tom being split and taken into care brought another motherly instinct to the fore - the instinct to protect the brood no matter what.

When she realised that she might die from leukaemia in a few years, her priority was to secure their futures while she was still able, while simultaneously highlighting the need for more respite care for people who look after handicapped children.

And if that meant shouting her plight to the world, talking to the Press, appearing on breakfast television, posing for photographs with Katy, Adam and Tom, so be it.

Pam wants a couple to come forward now and become known to the children so that when the time comes they will at least have substitute guardians to care for them.

It seems to be asking a lot, even of a couple whose own family have grown up and who have the time and space to care for a new family, although Pam says that if she was crazy enough to do, why shouldn't others?

In fact, there is every chance that Pam will survive until Katy and Tom at least have turned 20. She is suffering from chronic lymphocytic leukaemia, a cancer of the white blood cells. Although it is terminal, victims may have up to 10 years to live after the condition is diagnosed.

Pam knows, however, that even if she does survive for another eight years - the diagnosis in her case having been made two years ago - she may be too ill to look after the children as the disease takes its grip. She accepts this with remarkable stoicism, her only concern being that Katy, Tom and Adam are happy.

Her wish is for at least two of the children to be settled in a progressive residential centre where they can work, make friends and lead a full social life. Then their new guardians would just have to 'be there for them', especially at Christmas and on birthdays, and to surprise them with little treats and trips out.

She says that bringing up Katy, Adam and Tom has taken a strong constitution, a good sense of humour and absolute devotion to the children - a willingness to fight for them if the authorities fail them in any way.

If she rarely talks about herself, still less about her illness, it's because her whole existence is focused on the children.

She is embarrassed when people tell how what a heroine she is to have given a home to three Downs syndrome children, and always says that she has gained most by having their unconditional love and affection.

A smile from any of them can still make her day.