Adoption Search
by Julie Eberhart Painter, of Daytona Beach, Florida, USA

When our son Steve decided to get married, his interest turned to family history and my adoption. Ours was the lost legacy. He wanted to know about his birth grandparents.

I sent for my original birth certificate, the one that would have my birth name on it. When the blue and gold credential arrived, I tore into the envelope while Steve watched over my shoulder.

Name: Mildred Elizabeth Lang.
Birth mother: Catherine Lang.
Place of birth: Wales.

I'd been told I was Welsh, but it meant nothing to be Welsh in my adoptive home. My eyes fell to the line: Father's name: "Now we'll know who the mysterious Englishman was". Not bloody likely. Mom didn't say. "Father, unnamed," mocked me from the paper.

"At least she didn't say unknown," I said. The Lang name seemed wrong, but the thought of unearthing my genetic past was pushed aside with wedding plans.

As time went on, Mildred Elizabeth Lang became a family joke. "Hey Millie, what's happening?" Steve would ask when he phoned me.

I let it go, not wanting to turn the search over to some dispassionate agency or private eye. Our three children were blood relatives enough for me - until we had a grandchild. At age eight "he" began to ask the same questions that Steve and I had pondered, and my own curiosity was awakened again.

I sent a registered letter to the Judge's office at the Bucks County Courthouse building in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, the courthouse where I knew my adoption had taken place. I asked for my medical files.

A week later I received a letter, stating that no medical files existed. I phoned the judge's secretary to ask if I needed to petition the court to see my files. She said that there was no need for such formality, to simply write a business letter requesting my records.

But that letter and follow-up letters were ignored.

My youngest daughter, Lynne and I planned a trip to New York and she suggested we go to the courthouse, 60 miles away. Denying that they had any correspondence from me, they sent me to the Bucks County Bar Association offices. For a $40 fee, I engaged the services of an attorney to petition the court.

Time dragged on, but at one point in this quest, one of the people, whose identity I will protect, let slip my mother's real name, Laura Jones. The Lang names and her false first name, Catherine, was not Welsh, as I'd suspected.

At the end of this $700 legal journey, I received a summary of non-identifying background information from the Children's Aid Society of Pennsylvania. They encouraged me to phone if I had questions.

This is the Background summary:

Julie Eberhart Painter. DOB 7/16/36

"Your birth mother was born in Wales and came to this country with her family as an infant. There is no information in the record about her growing up years and very little about her family. Her parents are described in the record as thrifty, proud Welsh Protestants. Your maternal grandfather was a miner, and also involved in politics.

"Your birth mother was the oldest of two children in her family. She and her sister both worked in a silk mill and contributed to the family support.

"At the time of your birth, your birth mother was 28 years old. Because of her wish for secrecy regarding her pregnancy, as she was not married, she sought adoption planning for you. Society was not accepting of an unwed mother at that time, and it was quite common to conceal a pregnancy and plan adoption.

"Her family made every effort to conceal this as well, as they were quite upset. As a result of this wish for secrecy, your mother registered during her "confinement" at the Florence Critterdon maternity home in Wilkes-Barre, under an assumed name. She also gave you an assumed name and it was these names that were placed on your original birth certificate.

"Your birth mother placed you with the United Charities of Wilkes-Barre, with the intention that you would be placed for adoption. You were in a foster home, or boarding home as it was called at that time, under the auspices of United Charities of Wilkes-Barre until 1/6/37. You were then transferred to a temporary foster home in Phila., through the Children's Aid Society of PA.

"You remained in this home until you went to live with your adoptive family on 4/16.37.

"The social worker from United Charities who saw your mother at the time of adoption planning, felt that she was confused and upset and had difficulty recalling the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy.

"Your mother told the worker that she was engaged to a rather prominent politician but did not consider marriage for some time. He was not the birth father however; rather, your mother indicated that the pregnancy, which she was not aware of until her fifth month, was the result of an assault when coming home from a party. She indicated that she did not really know what happened.

"Your mother was in good physical condition.

"You were born at Mercy Hospital in Wilkes-Barre on 7/16/36 at 8.10am. Delivery was normal and you weighed 7lbs 12-1/2 oz.

"At three months of age you were described as a small baby with dark fuzzy hair and bright blue eyes...

"...You were described as having the ability to win friends by your cheerful, friendly disposition. You were alert and active and able to assert yourself when you wanted something. Further description at seven months indicated that you were "such a delightful little person... plays with such intentness and planfulness that one is convinced that she must be older than she is... she has a social awareness most unusual in so young a baby and shares her experiences with others with an unusual and most lovable sense of herself and awareness of the other person.

"In spite of having had whooping cough, she is a big girl for seven months of age, quite tall and sturdy in appearance. In general she is in good physical condition although she has a slight umbilical hernia."

"You were seen by the psychologist (as part of routine adoption planning), who indicated that your ability was above average. Your "adaptive and personal and social behaviour" was said to be "especially outstanding."

"As mentioned, you went to live with your adoptive family on 4/16/37."

The real possibility that I was a product of rape floored me. What could I tell my children? Maybe my birth mother hated me for being forced upon her and named me after someone she didn't like. At 9.39am on the following Wednesday morning I phoned the social worker in charge. I asked if she remembered my case.

"Oh, yes," she said emphatically. "You were the oldest searcher we've ever had. Nobody waits more than 60 years."

Starting with the most pressing, I began my list of questions. "Could the assault, around November 16, 1935 have been someone my mother knew?"

"Possibly, we don't have any other information, but three people may have attacked her. How did you feel when you read that?"

"Sad. Sad for her. Her life was ruined."
"Perhaps not; she may have made a good life following your birth."

"Did my mother marry the man to whom she was engaged?"

"There is no record of anything about her after she gave you up."

"Could the story of assault have been her covering a social indiscretion, perhaps she was drunk at that party or just careless?"

"That could be."

"She wasn't some foolish kid with raging hormones. She had a job - plans for the future."

The social worker didn't offer any explanation, but she did ask about "our" children. I filled her in. Then I asked about her general appearance? There was nothing in the records as to her height, weight or colouring. The social worker knew nothing about the silk mills either. What had my mother to do with them, ownership, sweat shop, faithful factory employee along with her family? Which silk mill could it be?

I told very few people about the rape those first weeks. I was not only a coal miner's granddaughter, but I was an inadvertent victim of rape. My mother's!

If she is still alive, I would never cause her further pain. She acted responsibly, I just hope that her "secret baby" didn't permanently ruin her life.

One of the nicest things to come of this is that in the report there are references to my personality. I had social skills and assertiveness. The fact that I was a healthy baby makes me look on my future with more enthusiasm. One cannot change the past, but one can use the past to change the future; however, we adoptees never stop looking.

Used courtesy of the TooWrite website