News@www.adoption-net.co.uk
This story published February 15, 2002

Single parent fostering

Single parent Sally Hopkins, 46, of Charlton Kings, makes a "yuck" sound when she's asked whether she'd look after babies.

In the past 13 years, she has cared for toddlers but mainly teenagers. At the moment her household is made up of her 16-year-old son Jake, 19-year-old Kevin and two brother's aged 14 and 18, who cannot be identified.

Kevin, who has now left the foster care system, has been intermittently part of Sally's family since he was nine.

"I originally came here for 18 months. I tried to live back with my mum but it didn't work out and Sally was kind enough to have me back.

" Originally I was only coming for a year. But the others living here were coming for two weeks and they've stayed for seven years."

Sally said: "I know that when a child reaches 18, he or she leaves the care system. But I couldn't imagine Kevin leaving here.

"I am a single parent and I knew Jake would be an only child and I couldn't have more children of my own. I wanted him to have others to play and grow up with.

"There are times when you feel like crying and it's hard work. Having fostered for 13 years, I'd say it's well worth it.

"I keep in touch with some of the children I've looked after in the past. There's one I send birthday and Christmas cards to.

"How does Jake feel about growing up with foster brothers, and occasionally, sisters? He said: "It's sometimes difficult to feel good about sharing everything, especially my mum.

"But you do get a sense of satisfaction in that you're helping someone else and there's a friendship. I find it a lot easier to talk to the boys, possibly because they're not my blood brothers.

"Kevin and I get on really well. We both work at Somerfield. Having foster brothers has opened my eyes to the world more." Kevin adds: "Because we're all different, that's why we all get on. Everyone who comes here comes from different backgrounds, some worse than others, but we all do our bit to make them feel at home."

Sally said: "One of the greatest pleasures of being a foster parent is watching children develop. I'd say to other parents considering fostering to try it. If they discover it's not for them and it doesn't work out, they can always get out.

There's a really good support network for foster carers. "The golden rule is, you have to put your own child first."

Sharon Hillier, aged 48, from Tewkesbury, a long-term foster carer and birth mother of four, has been looking after two siblings aged eight and nine for the past three years, with her husband Maurice, 53.

The couple will probably be caring for them until they are young adults. She said: "I used to live in Dorset and when my sister had post-natal depression I looked after her baby. It was then I knew I could love other people's children."

If you think that you could become a foster carer, but would like more information, have a look at our 'How to Foster' section which can be found from the home page.

There are many different fostering options such as weekend only, long term and respite plus many other schemes, all which offer allowances etc.

Alternatively you can contact us directly.

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