I had an impression of children's homes being like something out of Oliver Twist, populated by tragic orphaned children and with a mildly Victorian air about them.

I imagined these children's problems would end when they were taken away from abusive or unhappy homes. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Years of neglect and abuse have left many of the youngsters in this care home, in Cromwell Road, Grimsby, and in thousands of similar centres across the country, scarred, vulnerable and damaged, unable to cope with everyday situations.

Steve Bateman, manager of the Cromwell Road home, tells stories of arson attacks on the home by its child residents, social workers being taken hostage by youngsters, vandalism, violence, alcohol and drug abuse, self-harm and depression, autism and Tourette's Syndrome.

Whereas, most people would write off these children as delinquents or drop-outs, Steve and other staff see them as children damaged by life and desperate to be loved. He believes you can modify a child's behaviour by forming a relationship with him or her, which is what he and his staff try to do.

"What I hope is that if we respect that relationship, we are giving something to a child, and that's special," he said. "I don't think it goes away. Whatever good stuff you can put into a child, they will hang onto it.
"However bad it gets, they can pick up the phone and say 'can I come home?'"

Steve has worked in social services around the country for 30 years. It seems more than a job to him - each child he describes he speaks about with passion and real concern. Not content to help improve the lives of children in his working life, he and his wife have fostered four children, two of whom still live with them.

On hearing the terrible lives some of these children have had, you come to realise why their behaviour is so extreme.

One child Steve describes has been repeatedly told by his mother that he was responsible for his father's suicide, so has taken to drugs in an attempt to block out the pain. Another mutilates herself and resorts to violence and bullying, as she is so damaged by a horrific legacy of sexual abuse.

Steve calmly describes dealing daily with violence, tantrums and extreme behaviour, sometimes with a smile playing at his lips. It's not that he finds such incidents funny, but it wouldn't matter what these children did to him, themselves or his staff, he would still like them, respect them and want to help them.

Around 250 children in North East Lincolnshire are in care, and 100 are on the at risk register. Social services also works with 400 children, giving them a lower level of support. There are three children's homes in North East Lincolnshire, two in Cromwell Road and one in Wootton Road, offering respite care to families whose children have disabilities.

Of the authority's children in care, 80 per cent are in foster care or adoption and just 10 per cent live in children's homes. The rest are in special placements, for example special schools outside North East Lincolnshire.

Many of the children are in care homes because they are unable to be looked after by foster parents, so extreme is their behaviour.

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