SINCE 1975, when the Children Act first allowed adoptees to access their birth records, thousands have put their names forward hoping to contact their natural families.

New Government figures say that one adopted person is being put in contact with their relatives every week since the adoption contact register was started ten years ago.

Diane Sellers spoke to a young North Staffordshire woman who has spent most of her life wondering who her birth mother is and finally traced her to the other side of the world.

MUSIC teacher Sarah Bailey had a happy childhood growing up in Cellarhead as the daughter of Marjorie and Graham Mear.

For as long as she can remember, she'd always known she was adopted and, as she'd been with the Mear family from the age of four months, it was Marjorie she called mum.

But, as a sensitive child, she'd always wondered about the other mother who actually gave birth to her.

Sarah, pictured in the middle, with birth mother Fiona and husband Matt

One of her earliest memories is of visiting the chip shop with her mum as a young girl and the man serving behind the counter remarking: "You don't look much like your mother do you?''

Quick as a flash and wanting to protect Sarah, mum replied: "No, she looks just like her dad.''

Sarah, now aged 31 and a mother herself, revealed: "I thought, why doesn't she just tell him I'm adopted? It's no secret.

But it made me think. I suppose from the age of about eight I'd always wondered who my birth mother really was.

I used to ask what colour hair she had, what colour her eyes were and what job she did. Then, when I was 15, I discovered she was a New Zealander and that really furthered my curiosity.''

But it wasn't until her early 20s that Sarah met her husband to be, Matt Bailey, and decided, with his support, to do something about it.

It was a really big decision

She explained: "It was a really big decision. I had all sorts of worries. I'm very close to my adoptive family and didn't want to upset mum and there were all sorts of questions buzzing around in my head like is my real mum still alive?

If she's dead can I face a bereavement of the mother I never knew? What if she doesn't want to know me? Could I face being rejected?

Why was I adopted in the first place? Was my mother raped? What if she's really horrible and I hate her? What if she's married with another ten children and she doesn't want me intruding on her life?''

Matt could see how desperately Sarah wanted to learn about her past and he visited Hanley library where he got all the necessary information adoptees need to look for their parents.

Once Sarah had it there in front of her, she couldn't resist sending off a letter. She half expected to hear nothing back - and certainly not for several months.

To her shock, the reply came very quickly. Unknown to Sarah, her mother, Fiona Lassen, had also spent 24 years wondering about the daughter she gave away and had kept a photo of the baby Sarah by her bedside.

She'd even kept her maiden name to make things easier should her daughter ever decide she wanted to trace her.

It was really scary

Sarah revealed: "She was married and living in Australia but I had her name and address now and, thanks to international directory enquiries, I even had her telephone number.

It was really scary. I just didn't realise it would be so quick and so easy and, with hindsight, I think maybe I should have had some counselling. There were so many emotions bubbling away inside me it was a very hard thing to come to terms with.''

In the end, Sarah wrote a lengthy letter telling her mother all about herself and asking her if she would do the same and enclose some photographs.

The reply came complete with an invitation to Sarah and Matt to go and meet Fiona in Australia.

But Sarah had her heart set on New Zealand - that was where her mother was from, where her family still lived and that was where she wanted to meet her.

Six months later, the Baileys flew from Manchester airport bound for Christchurch, New Zealand for a very emotional meeting.

It was a real voyage of discovery for Sarah - and the nearest she's ever come to having a nervous breakdown.

After the tears, she was pleased to discover that Fiona shared her love of music - like Sarah she plays the piano and she discovered that her grandfather was a keen violinist.
Sarah now teaches both instruments.

Matt observed that both Sarah and his new-found mother in law have similar mannerisms, both are quietly spoken and both share a keen sense of humour.

Matt joked that he was obviously being punished for past demeanours in being cursed with two mothers in law.

But he was delighted that he and Sarah could have both Sarah's mum and Fiona present at their wedding a year after that first meeting.

A year after the wedding, Matt and Sarah visited Fiona and her husband, John, in Australia then, in 1999, Sarah saw her mother again when she visited England.

Fiona came over again in 2000 for the christening of Sarah and Matt's son, Charlie.

They have shared a lot since that first meeting five years ago.

Now happily settled in Dilhorne, near Cheadle, with an eighteen month old baby, the Baileys think their travelling will be limited but Sarah is in regular contact with Fiona via e-mail and says she's very glad she found her.

She commented: "It's interesting to see where certain parts of your character come from and to find out about your ancestors.

Fiona explained why she gave me up for adoption. She fell pregnant when she was 23 and working abroad, here in England, with her boyfriend.

He didn't want to know about the baby. Marriage was out of the question, it was the 1960s, she was 12,000 miles from home, and bringing up a baby on your own wasn't the thing to do then so she did what she thought would be best for me.

"I was never angry about what she did. Just curious. And now I know. Best of all, it's like I've found a new friend. Mum is still mum and Fiona is Fiona.

What's more, Charlie's got three grandmas - there's mum who he calls nan, Matt's mum is nana and Fiona is granny.''

Meanwhile Fiona describes being reunited with Sarah as "the most amazing experience I've ever had."

She explained: "Twenty-four years of wondering what she was like, where she was, whether she was happy, how she was fitting in with her family, were suddenly over.

It was 1979 when I discovered through Jigsaw (a NZ organisation that put adopted people in touch with their birth parents) that the British law had changed and I registered immediately.

I shall never forget the feeling of pure joy when, 16 years later, I came home from work one Friday night to find a Her Majesty's Service envelope in the mail box.

It was notification that my information had been released from the contact register.

Looking back I wasn't prepared for the difficult period between receiving official notification and Sarah's first letter.

It was very stressful time - mixed in with the hope and excitement was the pain of 25 years of separation, the fear of rejection and that I would fail to live up to expectations.

Luckily my husband, John, was very supportive. He knew about Sarah and has been so pleased to witness the tears of sadness turn to tears of sheer delight.

Meeting Sarah and getting to know her has been extra special. It was reassuring to learn that she grew up in a loving, warm family.

Her mum and dad were very generous in letting me share in Sarah and Matt's wedding celebration.

I'm especially grateful to Matt for encouraging Sarah to take the risk of contacting me. The future is a lot brighter now that Sarah is back in my life.''

Used courtesy of the The Sentinel

ADOPTION FACTFILE
*Sarah traced her natural mother through a register run by NORCAP, the National Organisation for Counselling Adoptees and Parents. A registered charity, it can be contacted via the internet at www.norcap.org.uk

*The exact number of adoptees in this country is unknown but 4,300 children were put up for adoption in 1998.

*The marjority of adoptees looking for their parents are women with most aged over 40.

*Statistics show that one in three women who were adopted will apply for their birth certificates and try to trace their natural parents compared to one in five men.

*Northcliffe Newspapers runs its own website at www.adoption-net.co.uk