Dreams DO come true.
A long time ago, I had a dream. It was not a hard dream to achieve, or at least that's what I thought at the time.

In reality, my dream took almost 20 years to achieve. My dream also turned into OUR dream when I married Rob. It was a simple enough request in it self. To have a baby of our own.

Easy really wasn't it? Well, yes to some but not to us. In reality it took test after test, seeing Dr after Dr, letdown after letdown, and also two miscarriages following IVF. At times I thought my heart would break. I did not think I was strong enough to go on. But I did. I battled on. No matter how hard it seemed, I carried on.

Today, our home is a happy one. There are no more tears of sadness in our home anymore, just tears of joy. Our house is now a home. We have someone to fill it now. Our daughter. Ruth. Aged 2 years. We brought Ruth home almost 5 weeks ago now.

The rest, as they say is history. BUT, as long as I live, the feeling of not being able to have my own child will NEVER leave me, not for a second. Never will I forget how hard we tried to have our baby, not ever. The lessons I have learned are hard ones to say the least.

But also lessons that have been positive and made me go on forward, not turning back and looking at the past. The future is what is important now. Nothing can be gained by looking back. Going through the adoption process has helped me support others also.

I have an Internet group on Yahoo groups called Movin-on-towards-adoption; we help support others who are going through adoption following Infertility treatment etc. To be able to offer support is a wonderful feeling. If I can only help one person, then the group has been worthwhile in my mind.

My life will never be the same again. Gone is the sad person who used to cry at the drop of a hat. Gone is the person who would never go out in the evening incase she got upset. That person had no confidence at all. There is a new person now. She is full of confidence, never tearful anymore, and does not even want to go out in the evening, because she has a good reason to stay home.....I am a MUMMY now...and boy does it feel good! Life has reason now.

I started this diary over 7 months ago. The reasons being that I wanted to be able to share my thoughts, worries, infact everything to do with the adoption assessment with others, in the hope that people would then feel they were not alone with their feelings. I have had mail from this diary and it is all very positive. I have made friends from this diary. One very good friend in fact.

I would like to say to you all now, where ever you are in the adoption assessment, be it just thinking about it, or actually doing the assessment, no matter how hard and stressful it is, please, NEVER give up on your dream.

The road is a long hard one, but the end result is the most amazing. A child. Your child. The child you peep in on before going to bed safely tucked up asleep. The child whose smile warms your heart...even at 6am!

It is the most amazing feeling in the world, to know that this little person relies on you for everything, and who's love is unconditional.

So, thank you all for reading my diary, from the bottom of my heart I wish you all well in your search for your family. Never give up...follow your heart...dreams DO come true.

Ann x

Footnote:
Special thanks to: Sarah, Andrea, Lisa ( ex Adoption net), for always being there and listening throughout it all. Thanks guys. x

There will be 2 monthly updates on Ann, Robs and Ruth's progress starting from December...so you will still be able to see how they are getting on

E-mail Ann and Rob

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