A man who spent almost 50 years of his life unaware that he was adopted is searching for his real mother.

James Osborne stumbled across the revelation by chance after his adopted mum died four years ago. The 52-year-old, who lives in Osborne Street, Radford, was filing his parents' paperwork, after the woman he knew as mum passed away, when he found his adoption papers.

"I looked at the forms and immediately thought, "who is this?", and then I realised. I was so surprised, I was just numb. I really had no idea, not the slightest inkling," he said.
"At first I felt angry at my adopted mum, then I felt lost. People who I thought were family seemed like strangers, and any stranger could suddenly be my real family. It is very confusing and lonely."

Explaining his anger, Mr Osborne said: "I never got on with my parents that well. There was always a distance between us. Now I know why. Everything makes more sense now.
"I felt a great deal of resentment because it was kept a total secret for my whole life. But after speaking to my adopted mum's friends I found that around a dozen people knew. I still feel a little angry but I have forgiven them to some extent."

A visit to Notts registrar revealed that his real name is Paul and he was born on March 6, 1949. He was adopted four months later on July 18.

Mr Osborne began the painstaking task of trying to trace his real parents. His adopted father died 16 years ago, so he had to rely on his own research and determination to uncover the truth.

So far he has located his original birth certificate and that of his real mother. The woman, a 19 year-old single parent, was called Maureen. She was born in July 1930, and her parents lived in Hucknall Road.

Mr Osborne hopes that his real mother never moved away from Notts. He would like to meet the woman, who would now be 71. Mr Osborne, who is a factory worker, said he has only searched "on and off" in the last four years but now wants to step up his hunt.

But he is not building up his hopes too high. He said: "I want to know if she is still alive and maybe meet her, just to know there is somebody out there. But I would settle for a phone call. It's up to her. I realise it is a delicate situation and I can't force what I want on to someone else."

Anyone with information about Mr Osborne's mother should contact the Nottingham Evening Post newsroom on 0115 948 2000.

Help is at hand
Adopted adults have the right to see their adoption records as soon as they are 18. Changes in the law have made it much easier for adopted people to see their personal records, so tracking down lost family is now much more straightforward than it was in the past.

But a lot of thought must be put in before deciding to contact your biological relatives. There are many organisations that can help with the search and offer emotional support, as well as acting as a go-between.

Professionals advise that anyone considering a search should receive professional counselling to help them through the process.

One of these organisations in Nottingham is Support After Adoption Service.
"Traditionally adoption has always been about babies," says social worker Kathy Hedges.
"I think most adopted people have issues that are triggered at various points in their life.
"We have quite a lot of people calling us in their 30s who have just had their first baby and realise it's the first person they've seen who is biologically related to them."

Contacting birth relatives can be a very sensitive area. "We find that if they've prepared themselves, the reunion tends to work," says Kathy.
"What doesn't work is the Surprise, Surprise approach. You might experience a short-lived happy moment, but it's the start of a long and difficult journey."

For more detailed information, visit the website: www.adoption-net.co.uk
Nottingham Support After Adoption Service can be reached on 0115 915 5500. The National Organisation for the Counselling of Adoptees and Parents (NORCAP) can be reached on 01865 875000 or by visiting www.norcap.org.uk

Used courtesy of the Nottingham Evening Post