20 years ago, my husband and myself decided we wanted a family of our own. We knew we faced problems, but never knew just how many. It turned out that it would take 20 years almost, a lot of heartache and tears, before our dream would be realised.

Last year, we decided to apply to adopt. This was something we always wanted to do, but we had to be sure we were doing it for the right reasons, not just selfish reasons.

The assessment was very stressful, much more than we ever thought it would be, and at times it was so hard we wanted to give up, but we did not.
This was our dream, and it was worth fighting for. We got approved to adopt 2 children, ages 0 to 7 yrs this Feb.

Although we were offered quite a few children, we did not 'jump' at the first ones offered to us. We had to be sure they were the right children for us. They had to fit in with our life styles. They had to be right. So we hung on, waiting and hoping the right child would turn up.

This August we went to matching panel and we were matched with our son. September came and we had a little boy aged 13 months come to live with us, forever.

He has changed our lives, all for the better I may add. He is a pleasure to have and we are so very proud of him, and we love him to bits. Everything is so different now. From the moment I wake up and go to him in his cot, when he gives me the biggest hug ever, I have to pinch myself to remember this is our son and he is here forever.

I still feel like it is all a dream sometimes that someone will wake me up. Then I remember he is our son. Our special boy. Our dream did come true.

I just wanted to tell anyone who is involved with adoption in one way or another that no matter how long you have been trying for a family, adoption is always an option for you. Never think you are too old, (I am 40 and I thought I was), if adoption is what you want to do, then follow your heart and go for it.

When the time is right, we will also be here to offer our son any support he needs to find his birth family, we will be by his side throughout.

My heart goes out to all those people trying to find their adoptive children or birth families on Adoption-nets message board, my son may be one of those people one day, but my son will not be alone in his search, we will be there for him, Always.

Adoption nowadays is very different. It is very open and is not a "secret" subject. It is something that is always spoken about, from when the child is old enough to understand it is talked about, so it does not come as a big shock for the child.

It is very important that support is there from the adoptive family, in order for the child to feel that they are 'allowed'' ( if that is the right word) to search for Birth parents. Often a child feels that they cannot search for fear of ''upsetting'' adoptive parents. But, if support is there from adoptive parents the child should never feel like this at all. Things have changed now and that can only be to the benefit of the child, openness is the word here I feel.

If you are an adoptive parent, and your child wishes to search for his/her birth family, support them, every step of the way. Be there for them. Put your own feelings to one side. They need your support and love. If you are a birth parent, don't ever give up hope.

The moral is here, never give up, be it wanting to adopt a child or searching for family, if it is what you want, follow your heart and never give up hope.

Story written by a very proud and supportive adoptive Mum, one who never gave up hope.