The key to sorting out any difficulties your child is having at school is to work closely with the school and include the views of your child.

Be open with the teacher and try to work positively. Don't treat him or her as an enemy. Sometimes teachers are at a loss themselves about how to deal with a difficult pupil.

Prepare yourself for the meeting. Try to stay calm and listen to what the school has to say. That way you really can work together to come up with a plan to keep your child at school.

Do not be abusive or aggressive, however angry you feel. It will not do your child any good.

Don't rush the meeting. Finding a solution to difficulties at school can be time consuming. Make sure you don't have to rush off afterwards.

You may also want to take someone with you for support. If you do, tell the teacher beforehand. It is not a good idea to bring a legal advisor with you unless you feel the issue is extremely serious. It will only intimidate the school and could be a barrier to resolving the difficulties with your child.

It is very important to let the school know if there are things at home that may be affecting your child.

Children sometimes behave differently at school and at home. For example, children protect their own parents, and their unhappiness only comes out when you're not around. An example may be when partners are having difficulties in a relationship.

All children react differently, but change can often make a deep impact on children. Fears about moving house, a death in the family or worries about money, are sometimes held in at home but spill out at school.

It's important to talk to your child to find out what he or she is feeling. Often children hide their real fears from parents and they may find it easier to talk to someone else, such as a teacher. Sometimes this can seem hurtful to parents.

When you talk to your child, try not to be angry or upset if they have chosen to talk to someone else.

You may feel you need to draw up a plan of action if you are worried about your child at school. If you do, some of the following ideas might be helpful:

If your child is still permanently excluded your Local Education Authority (LEA) should have a named education officer responsible for the education of excluded children.

The school should have his or her number. If they don't, call your local council and ask them.

The Education Officer responsible for excluded pupils will be able to give you advice and an outline of your council's policy.

Exclusions can cause a great deal of stress and worry for parents. You can feel isolated and helpless. Sometimes you may feel angry with your child, or feel like blaming yourself.

If you are to be in the best position to support your child, you will need to look after yourself.

Talk to people about your situation - do not become isolated. If you feel you are depressed, do not hesitate to contact your GP.

Organisations that can help