Week 4 - Thinking ahead

We have actually had the phone call we were waiting for this week.

We are due to start the training next week. Our social worker rang us and said she had managed to squeeze us in on the next session. If we could not make this one, there was not another planned for at least six months. So we said YES!

This seems to be the next positive step on our ladder, and we can't wait to get going. It's scary, though, at the same time because we don't know what to expect or what will be expected of us in the meetings.

The training is over two full days, 9.30am until 3.30pm, but at least doing it this way, it will soon be over, than dragging it on week after week. So we have started to get all sorts of questions ready to ask in our heads.

At least things are now starting to 'happen'. It's when we have to just sit here, waiting for things to happen, that seems to be the hardest bit for me.

I have also begun to start asking myself, is it worth all the stress and worry. Will I be a good enough parent etc? But the answer is always yes, it's worth every stressful moment, if - at the end - we will be a family.

I suppose everyone who goes through adoption, at times, doubts themselves, that they will be a good enough parent. But then again, there is no such thing as the perfect parent is there? It is only natural that I have doubts. I would not be human if I didn't.

If we are approved, our whole lives will change. I will no longer be just 'me', I will be someone's Mum.

I think it is this complete change to our lives that I am so scared and doubting of. It has always just been us for the last 18 years. It will be a big adjustment, but nevertheless, an adjustment we will welcome with open arms.

To be honest, we are both looking forward to the training. To be able to meet others in a similar situation, will be really helpful.

So, we are beginning another step on our way up the ladder. But still along way to go...

E-mail Ann and Rob

See also:

Week 3 - Parental responsibilities

Week 2 - We are on our way...and it feels so good

Week 1 - The social worker is coming

More about Ann and Rob