News@www.adoption-net.co.uk
This story published June 12, 2001

The many faces of fostering...


  • Fostering hope: Foster carers Michael Fentam, alias Uncle Michael the clown, and Dean Motttram, better known as Rammie.

    By Lynwen Davison

    A bit like children, foster carers come in all shapes and sizes - as children's clown Michael Fentam and Dean Mottram, better known to thousands as Derby County Football Club's mascot, prove.

    Foster families don't have to be wealthy, or smart or full of experience in rearing children.

    They don't need to have a top job or have a room full of toys or video games waiting for the children they will care for.

    All they need to have is the time, patience and love to devote to children who will need attention and understanding and friendly, welcoming face to greet them.

  • Becoming a foster carer
  • 'We've never looked back'
  • Profiles of children
  • When Mr Mottram, 34, is not looking after morale at Pride Park as Derby County's mascot, he is looking after foster children.

    He and his wife Emma, 28, who live in south Derbyshire, have never looked back since becoming foster carers a year ago.

    They started looking after two brothers, now 10 and 13 years old, soon after they were accepted to foster by Derbyshire County Council and the boys are still with them. They have also cared for four babies.

    Mr Mottram said (pictured left): "It was Emma's idea at first and we both decided we had something we could offer.

    "After being assessed we were given training which was quite intense and gave us an insight into the problems and situations we might have to face while looking after youngsters.

    "We have both found fostering extremely rewarding and although it can be challenging at times, when you start to see the results and the youngsters start to flourish it is all worthwhile."

    It is often harder for foster families to be found for older children, who may have emotional problems and can be difficult or challenging.

    But these are often those at greatest need of having a loving, caring home to help them deal with the problems their young lives have thrown at them.

    A good foster family can help a troubled teenager calm down and find some happiness after years of spending short periods in and out of care, for example.

    Mr Mottram said looking after an older child could be extremely rewarding. "I know that some people prefer to look after younger children, and to take on older youngsters can be an extra challenge, testing all the patience you have sometimes.

    "But when you start to see them change in positive ways it is worth everything you have put in."

    "You can't expect that overnight though, it takes a lot of effort and hard work on both sides. You know you are making a difference to their lives in the short term - and the longer term, too.

    "We have never regretted it. I would urge anyone thinking of becoming a foster carer to do it. We haven't looked back."

    With his wig and painted face, Uncle Michael the clown is another unlikely-looking foster father.

    But Michael Fentam (pictured left)and his wife Mandy, from Matlock, have been fostering children for Derbyshire County Council for three years.

    The couple have been looking after a boy, now 11, for the last three years. They have also given respite care to three children whose parents needed a break.

    Mr Fentam, 48, was well-known in his colourful guise as Uncle Michael, working part-time entertaining children across Derbyshire.

    But six years ago he gave up his 20-year career as a printer for the Matlock Mercury and Derbyshire Times newspapers to clown around full time.

    The couple, who have one 17-year-old son Thomas, find Mr Fentam's job fits in well with being a foster carer as he is often about during the day when Mrs Fentam is working.

    Mrs Fentam, 38, said: "I am a day carer for Derbyshire County Council which means I visit families in their homes to offer practical help. Fostering seemed like a natural progression.

    "It is very challenging and sometimes you feel like you are taking two steps forward and one step back."

    Mrs Fentam said that her foster son took a little time to settle into his new life because it was so different from what had known before.

    She said: "There weren't big problems, it was just a case of getting used to each other and dealing with small everyday things.

    "At first you don't know them very well and you don't know how they will react to things. You just have to be sensitive and aware.

    "In the beginning you need a lot of tolerance and then tolerance grows into love. It's more or less like he is our own son now. But we know he's not ours and he still sees his natural family."

    Asked about the prospect of having to let a child go, perhaps to a different placement or when they become of age, Mrs Fentam said: "When you take a child on you know that them leaving could be part of the deal."

    She added: "Fostering has given us enormous pleasure and we thoroughly enjoy it."

    Thomas said gaining a foster brother had been a challenge for him too. "It was very difficult for me at the start because he got a lot of attention. But he needed that attention.

    "But you learn to live with it and it grows on you. Fostering is definitely worth doing. We get on well most of the time just like ordinary brothers. We watch football together and play on the computer."

    Mr Fentam said: "I think clowning helps because you build up a rapport with children and I am used to being around them.

    "You don't have to be the world's best parent to become a foster carer. What the children want is love and time."

    Do you have what it takes to be a foster carer?

    Across Derbyshire, 509 children and young people are currently being looked after by about 440 foster carers.

    Social services is especially keen to find families who can look after older children, especially boys, aged between seven and 14.

    The whole process of becoming a carer can take up to six months although this may vary depending on the individual's circumstances.

    To find out more information about becoming a foster carer call Derbyshire County Council's Fostering Information Line on 01629 772211 or clicking here to find out more information and register online.

  • Do you have a story for Adoption-net? If so, please contact us.

    Top

    Back to this week's news



    © adoption-net.co.uk 2000
    This site has been designed with few graphics to make it quick to load and simple to navigate.