Week 16 - The final assessment

We have had our final assessment today. The home assessment has taken six visits to complete although we have actually seen our social worker more times than that.

Each visit was on average two hours long but in saying that we did have the 'odd' three-hour one too, which was very exhausting for us both. We also each had our individual interview.

We didn't know it would be the final visit until she came today. We just assumed there were a lot more to come, so it came as a nice surprise.

Today we went over the various forms of abuse - sexual, emotional, physical, and neglect, which we had also covered this in the training.

It is very hard to stomach when you hear what these little innocent children go through. But, it has to be faced, and you HAVE to be able to handle it in a calm and reasonable manner.

We also went over the various categories of disabilities on the form F. We had already decided which disabilities we can handle, but the social worker wanted to double check we were still of the same mind, which we are.

So basically the form F is completed now. We have filled in everything that we have to do. The social worker is going to type it all up, and bring it to us to check over.

She said we could have the form F for a month if we want to, or we can sign away our right to have it for that long if we are happy with it. She expects to have it done in the next week. We are really looking forward to seeing it.

It has been hard completing it all, but will be really interesting to read the finished product. It will be complete apart from the referee's testimonies, medical reports and the police checks.

We also had a few letters from friends and their children saying what sort of people we were and what we are like around children.

It was funny reading the little children's letters. One was in an envelope and all it said on it was LETU (letter), Laura is only six, bless her, and she wrote in her best handwriting about how nice we are to her and how funny I am. But it all helps to show the panel what sort of people we are.

I would say to anyone going through the adoption process to try to get a few letters form friends saying what sort of people you are, and try to make sure these friends have children themselves. It can only help support your application.

Our social worker said she would try to get us to next month's panel and definitely the panel after that.

So, it seems it is almost decision time. We are crossing fingers for July panel.

We would have liked to go to panel in person, to be there when the decision is made, but our local authority does not allow us to do that. So, we have to rely on a room full of strangers to decide if we are good enough to become parents.

This is such a scary time for us now. It could go either way. If approved, then we will be over the moon, it's what we have always wanted for the last 18 years. It's what we have dreamt of.

If we're not...then I can't answer that. I don't know how we will handle it if they reject us. Just because we think we will make good parents does not automatically mean the panel will think the same.

I can't see why they would reject us to be honest, but I still feel a touch of negative feeling creeping in here again now.

So, this is it now. It's make or break time very soon...

E-mail Ann and Rob

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