Ann and Rob are a couple from north Wales who have been trying for a family for 18 years. They have had various medical interventions including four cycles of IVF treatment, all to no avail.

So they have decided to try for adoption. Ann has decided to keep a diary about their journey through the adoption process and the emotional rollercoaster it takes them on. Adoption-net is carrying a weekly update on their progress.

Week 21 - Could be a boy?

Another week has passed. Another week of waiting. It is something we will have to get used to it seems. We were told the waiting would be hard, we were warned, but at the time, all you tend to think about is the panel day, not afterwards. It is all we were focusing on.

We could not see further than panel day. Reality after panel is harder. But we are slowly getting our heads round it. We are carrying on as normal, if there is a normal that is.

We did have a bit of news this week though. Our sw rang to say that she has a child on her books that MAY be suitable. That is all I know. I know it is a 'he', and that he is not yet freed for adoption.

She would not let any thing else out, incase we get our hopes up. She is going to make enquiries to see what she can find out about him. Not a lot for us to go on really, but at least we know things are going on behind the scenes.

I know they cannot give out too much information at first, but I did think we would at least know his name. Another thing we will have to get used to I think: not having much info given to us. We have now got bunk beds, and they are up! And I have bought loads of bedding to match.

We have already decorated the room, lemon on top, pale green on the bottom, but no border. We have to wait until we know what ages, and what gender we will be having first.

Friends have given us teddy bears; I have bought books, and colouring books. Little things, but they are so important to us. They are things that for 18 and a half yrs, I could not buy. Now I can, and it is so good!

Its like I am in a dream. I keep waiting for someone to wake me up. I am going to be someone's Mum. Rob will be a Dad. It is a strange feeling. I have the feeling the first time they call out Mum, I will look round and not realise it is me! It will be hard to get used to saying, "go ask your Dad", instead of "go ask Rob"

don't know if this child she has mentioned will work out or not, we know nothing about him, so we will have to see what happens. But, we are happy that something is going on so soon after approval.

E-mail Ann and Rob

The diary will continue until Ann and Rob are matched with children.

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