Ann and Rob are a couple from north Wales who have been trying for a family for 18 years. They have had various medical interventions including four cycles of IVF treatment, all to no avail.

So they have decided to try for adoption. Ann has decided to keep a diary about their journey through the adoption process and the emotional rollercoaster it takes them on. Adoption-net is carrying a weekly update on their progress.

Week 20 - Start of the waiting game

1 week after approval and the start of the 'waiting game'

I think the news has finally sunk in these last 7 days. The first day was both a momentous day and a day of complete shock. We had thought we would be going round like Cheshire cats, grinning, but in reality, we were completely shell shocked and numb. I think it was all the various emotions we had experienced over the assessment period, mixed with the build up and anticipation of panel day. There were no more emotions left inside of us. We were empty.

The morning of panel was not too bad, as panel days go, we did some shopping, thinking we would take our minds off it...that was a joke! We were in the running for the fastest trolley dash round Tesco's ever. That day, all we could do was think what if the phone rings? So, whatever was on the shopping list that day, did not end up in our trolley. We got home, all sorts of things were in there, and nothing we really wanted to buy! We could not concentrate on anything apart from the phone call that was due. Though I had told friends NOT to phone, 2 of them did, and my heart did somersaults when it rang. After lunch we began the countdown. They will be in panel now. They will be discussing us now. They will have reached a decision by now. Why has she not rung? Has it gone wrong? I spent the afternoon playing snake 2 on my mobile phone. I have never played it before. But I needed something to concentrate on, so it did the trick. I did well on that game that day got the highest score! It may seem funny I played snake 2 on the day of the panel, but I really did need to focus my mind on something other than adoption. We snapped at each other a lot too. We were both on edge so very much. Then the phone call of all phone calls came. We had done it.

This week has been a funny one. It has sunk in now to be honest. But all the activity that was going on in the assessment has stopped. We are on our own. Just sat here. Waiting for the phone to ring. Again. Only this time it will be to tell us they have found a child for us, a possible link. We were told this was another rung on the ladder, that the waiting was hard. We have only waited a week. It is hard though. We feel we are all alone, but we do know that behind the scenes, the sw is working hard on our behalf. The trick, I am told now from other adoptive parents, is to carry on with life as normal. What is normal? I have forgotten. It is so long since we had a normal life. We are trying, hard, to be normal. But every single time the phone rings, we are running to it like it is Camelot telling us we have won the lottery. I suppose as time goes on, we will get used to the situation. Get used to the waiting, but at the moment, we have only been approved a week, and it is taking a bit of getting used to.

Normal service will resume shortly........

E-mail Ann and Rob

The diary will continue until Ann and Rob are matched with children.

See also:

Previous diary entries