A British couple who are desperate to adopt have attacked rules that have prevented them from giving a loving home to a child in the UK and forced them to look overseas.

Fergus and Maria Daly say they are willing to adopt a child of any age or disability but because they both live and work in Bermuda, under current regulations they cannot adopt a child from Britain unless they have been living here for at least a year.

Instead the professional couple are now in the process of adopting a child from Bolivia.

And they say that if it wasn't for the internet, they would not have been able to adopt at all - or could have ended up in a position where they were effectively exiled from their own country.

They have decided to speak out because they feel the Kilshaw case has given adoption and the Web an unjustified bad name by hiding the fact that it has genuinely helped thousands of people who want to adopt ethically from another country. While not defending the Kilshaws, Mrs Daly said that some of the comments from politicians in Britain about the case had been unhelpful.	'We have full hearts but no child to fill our lives.'

"The case of the twins is absolutely not representative of 99.99 per cent of international adoptions and the media and Government ministers in England have a duty to be educated in all aspects of international adoption before reacting in such an inflammatory way."

To highlight the plight of ex-pats who want to adopt, they have written to Health Secretary Alan Milburn to outline the difficulties people in their situation face.

"Many couples, of which my husband and I are one, have to proceed to international adoption because of the restrictions placed on us by the current antiquated UK system," she said.

"We are a happily married, well educated, professional couple who have lived and worked in Bermuda for six years.

"We have no restrictions on our wish to adopt - and would happily accept a boy or girl, older or infant, with or without disabilities.

"But we can't. Why? Because the UK authorities prohibit any person from adopting a child unless the adoptive parents live in the UK. The fact that Bermuda is a British colony is simply ignored."

The couple, who married in 1997 have been trying for a family for years without success so decided to go down the adoption route.

They initially wanted to adopt a British child but when they found out they could not, felt forced to tread the overseas adoption path.

In Bermuda, there is currently only one child available for adoption but because Mr and Mrs Daly are white and the child is black, they do not fulfil the necessary criteria on the island to adopt the youngster.

"We are professionals with a wonderful international life in Bermuda, caring Roman Catholics, with full hearts but no child to fill our lives.

"We are favourite 'aunt and uncle' to many of our English friends' children on the island and are just desperate for family of our own."

They are so committed to the idea of adoption that when Mrs Daly, 31, found herself unexpectedly pregnant last year, the couple did not even consider abandoning plans to adopt.

But on their journey into international adoption, the Dalys have discovered just what a minefield it can be if you want to do it ethically and without falling foul of various laws and regulations.

One major problem was discovering exactly what the rules on international adoption were.

One obscure regulation, which they could have easily missed, could potentially have left them effectively exiled from the UK. Under current regulations, if a family has adopted more than one non-British children, the Home Office will only grant British citizenship to them if the children are siblings.	'The internet is a superb support to potential adoptive parents'

Had Mr and Mrs Daly adopted two unrelated children and then in future years decided to return to the UK, they would have been in a position where they were allowed to live in Britain - but not their children.

Mrs Daly said: "It has personally taken me over 18 months of phone calls to agencies, the British Government, British Embassy, the Bermudian Government, and in-depth internet research of agency and information websites, bulletin boards and membership of a number of adoption e-mail circles to be able to gain the information that I have with regard to international adoption by British people.

"In that time I have researched good - and bad - agencies, the international adoption requirements of many countries, from Bolivia to China, and have tracked feedback comments from parents who have travelled the route before us.

"During our years of trying to find information, we were unable to find any state agency in England who could or would provide us with a synopsis of the English law and requirements in this area.

"We could not have done it without the help of the internet.

"The information provided on adoption by the internet is a superb support to potential adoptive parents - from bulletin boards to international requirements and laws. It is not a place to buy and sell children under the counter.

"Of course, it is abused by some, but not many. Only via the internet did I find a number of fantastic support groups for people who wished to adopt ethically from other countries.

She advised other people thinking of inter-country adoption: "Don't be confused by the idea of adopting via the internet. This is an impossible concept.

"The internet is used by adoption agencies, lawyers, facilitators from around the world, and the US government to either advertise their services, to draw attention to children in need of adoption or provide research information on good/bad agencies, feedback and bulletin board services for adoptive parents.

"No-one actually adopts over the internet - they merely use it to get the information they need.

"The bad press has not come from those hundreds of good private agencies, in many cases run by adoptive parents, whose sole purpose is to place children in loving homes, but by the facilitators and lawyers who have no interest in anything other than making money."

Mrs Daly said that during her foray into the shady world of overseas adoption, she soon learned to spot the dubious "babies for sale" dealers because of their large fees - as high as £15,000 - promisies of a speedy adoption - the ability to have a child within three months - and the countries in which they operate.

"My husband and I have avoided all 'facilitators' and 'adoption lawyers', who usually search out single mothers with the promise of paying medical bills, etc.

"And we have also avoided certain countries, for example Guatemala where the fee to adopt internationally is around $20,000 because in Guatemala, adoption is only available through private lawyers who each charge around $15,000 in 'legal fees'."

But she is quick to point out that not all private agencies are just out to profit from the desperation of well-off Western couples to have a baby.

"Most do an excellent job in placing genuinely abandoned and unwanted children in suitable homes," she said.

She also criticised the coverage of the Kilshaw case for leaving people with the impression that all overseas adoption involves "buying" babies and child-stealing because of the fees involved.

"I agree that facilitators and lawyers who 'trade' in adoption are not ethical. However, they are not the only bodies to provide assistance to those wishing to adopt.

"In the US, there are hundreds of 'not for profit' charitable private adoption agencies whose 'fees' are those which relate to a donation to an orphanage which may be a requirement of the country from which you are adopting, and the home-visit fee.

"This is not a fee for the child - it is absolutely made clear that such fees are to assist the orphanage in providing food, clothing and care for the children remaining in the orphanage.

"In poorer countries, this is the only way that the governments are able to find funding for the orphanages. Why should that be considered 'buying a child'?

"Other fees required in international adoption include translation of documentation into the language of the country from which you are adopting. "Together with notary fees and 'stamp duty' in your home and adoptive country - these fees add up. In no way are you paying for a child but in order to fulfill documentation requirements in each country - these are fees which cannot be avoided."	'It is very hard work - no way would I call it buying a child'

Mrs Daly, who is part of a self-help adoption support group in Bermuda for English, American and Bermudian adoptive parents and those wishing to adopt, also pointed to the Hague Convention on International Adoption, which gives a list of countries approved for international adoption and which recognises that there may be fees involved.

The Dalys, after exhaustive research, settled on Bolivia, in South America, as a country from which to adopt because it has strict adoption rules and places the well-being of the child first. Like the UK, it also outlaws private adoptions.

"In order to be able to adopt from Bolivia you must learn about the country as well as spend at least six weeks there, living with your prospective child and being monitored by social workers and judges," explained Mrs Daly.

The Bolivian children put up for adoption are usually abandoned by their parents for economic reasons or because their mothers are unmarried. They are usually placed in state-run orphanages - there are no private orphanages.

"Our reason for choosing Bolivia is because of that country's ethical stance on adoption and the fact that we currently sponsor an orphanage and a young boy in one of the government homes," said Mrs Daly.

The couple have had to provide personal references, autobiographical statements, employment references, doctors' letters, financial cash-flow statements, lists of assets, passport, marriage and birth certificates.

"This is merely the start of what is required for international adoption - there is no way I would call it 'buying a child'.

"It is extremely hard work on the part of the parents and the agencies - both emotionally and physically," said Mrs Daly.

However, just 48 hours before they were due to be assessed as adopters by Bermudian social services agency, Mrs Daly found out she was pregnant.

"This has in no way stopped our adoption plans - we have merely been asked by the Bermudian authorities to postpone the home study for a few months to avoid any stress on me during the pregnancy," said Mrs Daly, who is due to give birth in about four weeks.

In the meantime, the couple are learning Spanish as part of their preparation for adopting a Bolivian child.

See also:

The BBC's coverage
Caught in the net -ITN's coverage
You can't blame the net for everything. - The Guardian