Week 2 - We are on our way...and it feels so good

Well, the social worker came to see us. It was so funny. We really made sure the house was 'gleaming' - as if you could eat your lunch off the floor!

It was silly really, because once children are in the house, it will never look like that.

Anyway, we tried to make a good impression. I suppose everyone does the same.

She asked a lot of questions - why we wanted to adopt, what we had done to try and have our own family, how many children we wanted, what ages etc. etc.

She went on to explain how the system works, explained we needed to have police checks, mainly, I think, to check for offences against children. She also told us any previous convictions would show up, but did not necessarily bar you.

We would also need medicals (that is scary as I am overweight and have asthma). And we would need to have two referees.

The whole process can take from between eight to 12 months - depending how quickly the checks are done, I think.

She showed us a copy of the Form F, the form that is used to do our application, and apparently, within our area, we have to fill in most of the form F ourselves, writing all about ourselves, how we see children in our family, about our family, about support networks etc. etc.

It seems a lot to have to do, but I am sure, with the help of the PC, we will get through it.

It will be good to be able to have some imput in own own application, after all, we know ourselves the best don't we!

We have to attend a training session. Now I thought, 'OK so I can't have my own children, but do I really need training...'

But it is not so much training to have children - well, some of it is - but mainly it is to explore the issues involved with adoption (and there are so many issues) so we can decide if this is what we really want to do.

And it gives us the chance to meet others in the same situation as we are.

Anyway, we filled in all the application forms, signed the police check forms, and now we just sit and wait. She said she will contact us in the next few weeks to tell us when the 'prep group' is.

I am not happy though, just 'sitting here'. I want to get things moving!

Perhaps the one lesson I will learn in all this will be the art of patience...

We did tell her we want to adopt two siblings. Rob was in care as a child, and separated from his siblings, so we want to be able to help keep two children together.

We also told her we would like children aged 0 to 7 years. We are trying to be realistic here you see. What's the use in saying we just want babies, when we could still be sat here in five years time, still waiting.

All we have ever wanted is a family to love, it does not matter what age they are, as long as we are a family.

Now she has gone, and we have time to reflect. It's all so scary. This could soon be real. We could be parents one day. I am happy. In fact I am ecstatic.

But, I am so, so , scared to get my hopes up again. I always do and it all goes wrong on me. But I think this is the one time when I have to try to be positive.

I am just glad we are now 'on our way up the ladder', there are a heck of a lot more steps to climb, but we have taken our first step...and BOY, does it feel good!

E-mail Ann and Rob

See also:

Week 1 - The social worker is coming
More about Ann and Rob