WEEK 14

It's the beginning of December and Christmas is getting nearer. Our tree has taken pride of place in front of the patio doors and the lights are round the windows.

David and I decorated the tree, Ashleigh showed no interest whatsoever. She opted for playing outside with her friends. Brain and I got the tree out of the attic; David and I decorated it.

Brian laid on the sofa and watched us. He isn't very good at decorating. David was really excited, he said he never had a tree before. I was sad for him, a child never having a Christmas tree before. He had one at the foster home, but was never allowed to touch it.

I let him decorate it by himself. I put the lights on and David did the rest. He was in his element, jumping around and hanging the baubles just so. Everything had it's own place.

I was impressed with it when he was finished. Ashleigh missed out on lots of fun. Her friends were waiting for her outside so she was more interested in them. I'm pleased she has so many friends, they've taught her to play and be a little girl.

David has asked for a new bicycle for Christmas, so we bought one. A real big boy's bicycle. It's hidden in the attic along with Ashleigh's bicycle. Brian and I are also excited for Christmas. This will be our first one as a family.

I had to do the contact letter for the birth mother last week. It was a hard letter to write. Brian and I took around two hours to write. It had to be perfect. We didn't want to rub her nose in it by telling her how well the kids are doing. All we wrote was how they were doing at school, that they were happy healthy children.

We didn't write anything about their feelings toward her. It would upset her knowing exactly how they felt about her. David is still finding it hard to come to terms with his past, but his new therapist is helping him. She's really good with David, and he likes her. He's beginning to open up to her a lot, which is good.

We had a review last week also. Our social worker, the head of the adoption agency, the children's social worker and head of social services came to our house. The kids were at school. There were a lot of questions asked. How were the kids at school? How was their health? How were they feeling right now? How were they doing with homework from school? Lots of questions.

The issue of getting somewhere with a court date came up. I had dropped the application forms into the court in August, and our social worker had already done our schedule 2 forms. She had then sent them to the social services department where the kids came from. They had taken a while to allocate another social worker to the kids, so the schedule 2 forms hadn't been done by them yet. It was now the end of November. I wanted to know how much longer this would take.

In June, at the last review, we were expecting all of this to be done. We were expecting to have been to court and had the adoption order made by now. but, the forms weren't even at the court yet, so we were no where near.

I wasn't happy about the hold up, but no one seemed to have the answers for it, then a bombshell was dropped, and the head of social services told me the birth mother was contesting the adoption. This means that now, Brian and I have to see a solicitor.

This will be financed by social services. We have our appointment on Wednesday, and I hope he can tell us something positive for a change. I couldn't believe they had never told us before the birth mother was to contest the adoption. Why should we have to fight a woman for her children? This is the guilt thing kicking in again for me. I didn't want to fight another woman for her children. I cannot begin to imagine how she must be feeling right now; knowing another woman is to fight her for her children.

David has been pretty good at school. He has brought home a few awards and certificates. His swimming lessons have finished now, and he can swim a short length, but we're proud of him.

His attitude to life lately has been laid back, and easy going. I like him like this; it makes him a lovely little boy. He shouldn't have worries on his shoulders at his age.

Ashleigh is just the same. We have had no tantrums from her, just a little stamping her feet and throwing her toys around the house. Apart from that, she has been a happy laid back little girl.

They're in bed now, fast asleep. They're happy, warm and have full bellies. They have a Christmas party for adopted children to look forward to this weekend. Then they have their school disco then their parties at school. They're busy children this time of year. So many parties, so many friends to see.

Oh to be young again.

E-mail Lynne and Brian

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