TALKadoption received more than 3,000 calls in its first two years and its report Tell Me Who I Am, analyses who has been calling and why.

Its findings included:

Among adopted people up to age 12, about a quarter of the calls were from children who thought they may be adopted or who had just found out.

Some of the children had found birth certificates, with names and details they did not understand and were worried that this might mean they or a sibling was adopted. Others were worried they were adopted because of difficulties at home.

Nearly 30 per cent of callers under 12 wanted information about, tracing and contact with birth families and 23 per cent called over general unhappiness.

Of those that called about being unhappy, five said they were being hit or bruised by their adoptive parents. Several talked of running away and three said they were bullied at school because they were adopted.

One 12-year-old girl, who was "confused, upset and frustrated", said she had been adopted at the age of five, but her adoptive parents divorced and later her adoption broke down. She had been in several foster homes.

In calls from adopted people aged 13 to 18, of which less than 10 per cent were from boys, one in five were concerned they may be adopted or had just found out including six children in stepfamilies or extended families. Many were confused and angry.

One 17-year-old rang saying she had discovered in the past few days that the woman she thought was her mum's cousin is actually her birth mother. She wondered if her brothers were adopted, too. Just over half in this age group wanted information on tracing and contacting birth families and 15 per cent rang because they were unhappy.	'His mother told him she wished she had never adopted him'

Callers who have not yet reached the age when they are legally entitled to access to their birth records (16 in Scotland, 18 elsewhere in the UK) were often frustrated at having to wait.

A number of callers wanted to search for half siblings and they were not always finding this easy.

Meanwhile some adoptive parents were clearly unhappy about adopted people tracing their birth families.

"An 18-year-old rang, saying her adoptive mother doesn't want her to trace her birth family because it makes her feel she hasn't done her job properly," said the report.

Some of the teenagers were in contact with their birth families while others were anxious about unexpected contact from their birth family or pressure to become more involved than they wanted.

One 17-year-old told how her birth mother had "turned up out of the blue" and was upset because she felt her birth mother and social services were telling different stories about her past.

Other callers were frustrated by restrictions on contact. A 13-year-old, adopted at the age of nine, was frustrated that she would have to wait a month before seeing her birth mother again.

Of those who rang because they were unhappy, some were having difficulties talking to parents about adoption and seven alleged abuse within the adoptive family or talked about breakdowns in their adoption.

Others talked of arguments with their families because they were adopted.

One teenage boy said he was not getting on with his adoptive parents and that his mother had told him she wished she had never adopted him, said the report.

Bullying at school was another problem and some callers were concerned about information they had received about their birth families.

In adopted people aged 19 to 25, 8 per cent were concerned about possible adoption, or recent discovery of adoption.

Three quarters wanted information on tracing birth parents and 10 per cent were about unhappiness.

Of those who had only recently discovered they were adopted, several felt foolish, betrayed and angry that so many people in the family knew about the adoption for so long.

One caller, aged 24, had only only learnt he was adopted when his mother died recently. He said he felt much worse about it because everyone else in the family knew already, and hadn't told him.

Most calls in this age group wanted to know about tracing relatives. Other were dealing with reunions and a few had been rejected in some way.

'Choose between birth father or me'	One distressed 21-year-old woman rang to say her birth mother did not want to know her or want her to contact other members of the family.

Many of those calling about unhappiness were men. One 19-year-old said he was adopted aged seven but went back into care at 11. He was now living on his own and felt very low. He said his social worker would not help him get any information about his birth family.

For adopted people over 25, 95 per cent called about tracing but even in this age group 12 callers had only recently learned they were adopted, including three in their 60s and 70s who found out after a parent's death. One even found out at his parent's funeral.

A woman of 70 asked if it was normal at her age to go on wanting to know about her beginnings; the need to know just would not go away, and she was still thinking of looking for her brother.

Of the calls about tracing some rang to talk about reunion difficulties. Some were distressed and angry after relatives rejected them. Several were distressed after tracing their mothers only to find that they had died.

One 27-year-old woman rang to say she recently met her birth parents and now her adoptive father was giving her an ultimatum - to chose between him and the birth father.

Five callers in this age group talked of very poor adoption placements, including abuse within the adoptive home. Some requested counselling.

Calls from birth parents accounted for 8 per cent of calls, about a quarter of which were from callers under 26. Some were from pregnant teenagers to discuss placing their child for adoption.

Others were from young parents whose children were in care and were now being adopted. Most of these callers were in great distress.

Older birth mothers rang to ask about tracing their adopted children, to talk about reunions, or to express their lasting grief at losing a child.

Calls from birth brothers and sisters accounted for 6 per cent of calls, two thirds of whom were under 26. They rang about tracing, or just finding out about, adopted brothers or sisters.

Meanwhile adoptive siblings rang to discuss supporting their adopted brothers or sisters, or to get the support they felt they were not getting at home.

Of the adoptive parents who rang 45 per cent were from people who wished to adopt and were enquiring about general procedures or acceptance criteria such as age restrictions.

Four callers had made applications and were unhappy about the way they had been dealt with. Two callers were struggling with difficult behaviour of children placed with them but not yet adopted. They felt unsupported.

Most people who had already adopted were calling wanting support for their children. Ten were concerned about difficult behaviour, mostly from children between 14 and 16.

A number of adoptive parents wanted to help their children trace or make contact with birth families. Four rang about reunions or their fears about their son and daughters contacting birth families.

Some of the calls were from adoptive brothers and sisters Some were anxious about the possibility of their sibling being adopted.

But one 13-year-old rang reporting sexual advances from her adopted brother which she said she could not tell her parents about.

The other callers were concerned for and wanted to help their adoptive siblings. Three said that siblings had just discovered they were adopted and were upset.

On 13-year-old rang about her 15-year-old brother who had just found out that he was adopted and who was now shutting out his sister. But everyone else in her family was saying it was nothing to do with her.

Tell Me Who I Am, by Sue Greenwood and Sarah Forster is for sale from TALKadoption

See also:

Secrets and lies...