An estimated 4,000 children in this country are separated from their mothers who are in prison.

The Mothers' Union is continuing to lobby judges to apply non-custodial sentences and keep children and mothers together where it is in the children's interests.

Two thirds of women offenders have committed non-violent crimes and the MU says it is up to £20,000 cheaper for an offender to serve a sentence in the community rather than in prison. Nick Churchill reports.

Mother-of-three Mary was sentenced to nine months in prison in March this year for obtaining property by deception.

She knew she'd done wrong, but this was her first offence. A pre-sentence report had recommended a probation order and community service, but as a precaution, she had spent the previous evening arranging care for her three children - two girls and a boy - then aged nine, five and two.

As she kissed them all a tearful, fearful goodbye, the two eldest were inconsolable - they knew Mummy may not be coming back.

"I didn't know for certain when I was going to see them again. I had it in my head I might go to jail, as that way I wouldn't feel so bad if that was what happened, but I still clung to the hope I would be home that evening to see them after school.

"The eldest went to stay with my sister, the middle one was with her father and my then-husband came back home to look after the little one, even though he hadn't had anything to do with him for two years."

Mary, 30, was sent to Eastwood Park Prison in Gloucestershire. She served three months behind bars, before being electronically tagged and allowed home. She spent two months under curfew, unable to leave the house after 7.15pm, even to put the bin out, and is now on licence until December.

"The kids would come up every two or three weeks to visit me and that was hard. I didn't know what to do for the best. I tried to block them out, especially at first, but I couldn't. Every time they came they would be in tears when it was time to leave and officers had to prise them off me. It was just awful."

For all that, Mary is pleased she can see an end to her sentence. Now back in her Boscombe home, she says her prison experience has made her a more confident person, more able to stand up for herself, and she doesn't think she would make the same mistake again.

"I was brought up a Jehovah's Witness and never had birthday or Christmas presents. What I did was mainly to make sure my kids had everything they wanted.

"I knew it was wrong, but it was worth it at the time just to see their little faces. I don't think like that now... prison has shown me it's not worth it."

Inside, Mary (not her real name) took a job as a gardener for £10 a week (her little boy was told Mummy was looking after Her Majesty's garden) and she counted the days leading up to her release.

"We never had any courses or anything like that, but the other prisoners were really supportive of each other. You'd see mothers going back to their cells in tears and you felt for them.

"There were all sorts inside - one woman had been done for smuggling drugs inside a dead baby, but she didn't look the type, you know?

"When I first got there, I just cried. You just want to get out and all sorts of things went through my mind, including trying to kill myself. But even if you go to hospital you still have to come back, so it's best just to get your head down and get it over with."

Now reunited with her children, Mary claims the experience has straightened her out.

"I'm not going back there, no way," she says. "It was hard on the children. The middle one was bullied quite a bit at school, nasty teasing and that. The little one's dad tried to take him back off me but I got out before it came to court and he's staying with me.

"In some ways, prison was easier than I'd expected, and I can understand why someone who doesn't have any commitments or any kind of life on the outside wouldn't mind going back. But it was agony for me. When I got back the kids wouldn't leave me alone - they came with me even when I went to the toilet!"

Claire (not her real name) looks like being another success story, having said goodbye to her four-year-old son last summer on the morning she thought she was going to jail.

After previously being bound over for her first offence, possession of drugs and stealing, she had been found guilty of forgery and told to expect a six-month prison term.

"The day I went to court for sentencing I had to say to my son that Mummy might not be coming back home for a few months," says the 24-year-old, from Parkstone.

"We had lots of kisses and cuddles, and I think he sort of understood, but I dread to think what it would have been like if I had been taken down. I had to set it up for him to stay with my family and everything like that."

Instead, Claire was placed under a probation order, a condition of which was that she had to attend the Women's Programme at Poole.

The fact that she is a single mother didn't, in itself, prevent her from going to jail. The courts made a decision based on the seriousness of the offence, her potential threat to the public and the likely way in which probation officers said she would respond to a non-custodial sentence.

"If you ask why I did what I did the answer is the usual one - I was desperate. But what this course teaches you is different ways of looking at things.

"It's hard being a mother on your own, and my son is hyper-active as well, so the stresses are massive. I'd also been having problems with his father, who was violent, but he's gone now.

"What I've learned here is to break stuff down and know why I do what I do. Most crime is committed spontaneously, you know what you're doing, but you're on a kind of roll."

The work Claire did on the course was a revelation, she says. She believes she would have benefited from it earlier, at school.

"They don't teach you to think about things at school, and if you don't get communication from your parents that's how you can slip off the rails. What they do here is like counselling, really. They make you take part, you can't just turn up and sit there."

Through the group and one-to-one sessions Claire has developed a plan for the future: "I've got to hurry up now, 24 is getting late to start a career."

She rediscovered her love of science and is gathering information on college courses with a view to starting a career in laboratory work.

Used courtesy of the Daily Echo, Bournemouth